Although its been months since I’ve posted anything I thought that it would good for me to start blogging again. Its something that keeps me grounded and somewhat accountable as I continue to grow in my faith. Recently God added a myriad of things to my life that for a while I had no clue were going to come with tests and trials and also reveal to me the coldness in my own heart.
Around this time last year I was getting ready for travel to my home state of Connecticut. This trip lead to the biggest and perhaps one of the most life changing thing ever, but I’ll get to that. That holiday season was a time of much recollection and revelation. Mostly because at the time I wasn’t aware of just how much my family lacked true faith in God. Not only that but what now has transpired in my life must serve as a Godly example to them and in moments I have definitely fallen short. Our lives as Christians are to be reflective of Christ and we should be living out the Gospel according to God’s word. Matthew 7:24-25 Jesus says that we should not only hear his words but do them and he and his teachings are the base of our faith. Romans 1:16-17 says that we should live unashamed of the Gospel for the righteousness of God is revealed through our faith when we live by faith. I found myself trying not to step on toes or offend too much but the Gospel we live by can offensive to those who aren’t necessarily in tune with this life or as 1 Corinthians 1:18 puts it “to those who are perishing”.
Before now I would passively deal with issues in my family or even excuse them. The problem with this is that I was more likely to address issues with others outside my family from a more biblical perspective than I was with those in my family. By doing this I not only keep the Gospel away from those closest to me I keep God away from them and God is not to be kept locked away in your private life
Move forward to today. I now have my own family. I found out I was pregnant last December and it turns out I got pregnant in November, the month I visited my family in CT. Jeremiah was born in August of this year and is now 2 months old. I never knew a love so great until I layed eyes on my son. It is through having my son that I realized just how deceitful our hearts are. I wanted so badly not to go through what I went through. I wanted to not feel or deal with what was to come along with the blessing motherhood. This sounds crazy, right? Didn’t I just say that I fell in love when I first laid eyes on my son? Yes. Thats because the first time I honestly and truly laid eyes on my son was about a month after he was born. This is because I suffered through depression the first few weeks of his life. I kept this depression to myself for a while and eventually told my husband. Sadly ny mother was here visiting and I couldn’t tell her. To me, that’s a huge issue. Why wouldn’t you tell your own mother that you were depressed after having a baby, her grandchild? Answer: She had no idea how to biblically help me through it. My son only has one place to receive biblical counsel while he is young and thats because I have hidden the Gospel and what is has done in my life from those closest to me. However, if they can’t see that I’ve changed and/or don’t see what’s behind the transformation se would say that its on them but I believe I have done wrong if I kept it away from them.
Although I can admit that some people will be blind to it, you should never not share the Gospel with those in your family. Even if you think they won’t care or be changed by it. We’re called to spread the Gospel. Why wouldn’t we share it with those most precious to us.Its definitely something that has struck a cord and I need to be more loving in that regard. To care for the souls of those closest to me, my family, is something I feel I haven’t really done much towards. Its a change I want to make.
Have you ever felt as though you’ve kept the Gospel to yourself, away from the people closest to you? Share with me in the comment section below.