Natural Hair Blues

As you can tell by the title, I have really been in a rough place with my natural hair.  I guess I should shed some light on my little natural hair journey for those of you who did not know I was natural.  I have been natural for a little over 2 years now and my decision to go natural was based on me just wanting to try something new and also just sort of wanting see what my natural hair actually looked like. I will be honest and say that at first I tried to connect it to me being a Christian and saying I wanted to be closer to how God made my hair to be and be ok with that but I found that I wasn’t really being honest about it. Truth be told though, this is how God made my hair. No straight hair, so smooth curls, but some coils and kinks. Pictured below is a close up of my actual head of hair.

If you can’t tell, this is a picture of how my hair looks when it is not detangled or freshly washed and conditioned (bare with me lol). This is actually a picture of the state my hair is in right now (not the full scope, too embarrest for that). One side of my hair is is shorter and thinner than the other, making styling a dreadful task. I would say I have low porosity hair with medium/coarse texture and medium density. I would say I have a contton life feel to my hair (maybe wiry in some areas) and tight spiral pattern in some areas (O pattern) and some zigzag patterns (S/Lpattern) in other areas and I have a low sheen. It grows at an average rate; about a ½ an inch a month. I don’t like the whole hair typing thing because its not always acurate and everyone’s hair is different. This is due in part to the fact that people can have multiple texturs and curl patterns in their hair. For example, the front of my hair is has a tighter coil than the back which looks like a loose 4A type pattern, and middle of my hair has little to no curl definition and is a lot thicker than the rest of my hair. In fact I feel I have little to no defintion all over but this closeup is decieving lol. Over these two years I believe I lost density somewhere along the way and I’m not sure why, heck it could just be me. That issue is not the only issue I am havng with my hair, and to be honest I am starting question whether natural was ever for me.

So anywho, now that we got all that technical hair typing stuff out of the way I would like to jump into my issue. Natural hair, for me, is a win/lose type of situation. Like some days I will have bomb hair that feels moisturized and fresh and lovely. Other days (most days) my hair has a mind of it’s own and it doesn’t cooperate with anything I try to do to it. That LOC method you hear a lot of naturals talk about does not always work for me and in fact makes my hair feel like it has too much in it sometimes. Being that my hair is more kinky than it is curly (4B/4C I guess), it is a lot harder to keep it moisturized and quite frankly just a lot harder to manage. Natural hair in general can be pretty hard to manage because its more delicate and needs more TLC than naturally straight or chemically relaxed hair. When I was relaxed it was a heck of a lot easier to do my hair and I wasn’t always buying new crap to put in it. I stuck to what I knew, which I might add wasn’t necessarily the best thing for me. I semi regularly visited my hair stylist when I was relaxed as opposed to now in which case I don’t go to “natural hair” stylist at all. I have straightened my hair once since I have been natural and that was to check my length when I reached my two year mark and you can see this pictured below. I blow my hair out maybe once every 2 or 3 months when I want easier managability and less manipulation. I find that I fo long without touching my hair when it is in a protective style or when it is stretched.

Having natural hair has been fun at times because I like to play around with different styles and be able to wear it kinky or straight. But I am afraid I have grown quite bored with it and I want to try something different to get out of this natural hair blues I have currently been in. One thing that has been on my mind is whether or not to just do a second big chop and that is due to the fact that my hair is not in the best state right now and I think shorter natural hair was a lot easier for me to manage. I am thinking about getting a tapered TWA or tapered afro which would be quite drastic for me and probably the only style that I would consider going to a professional stylist or barber for. One reason I would also say bye bye to my medium length tresses is because I find that it leads me to being too much into my hair, which is strange for me to say considering when I had short hair I was the same way BUT longer natural hair by far has proven harder to deal with. Ironically enough, my husband seems to be telling me these days that my hair seems to never be done and I feel like he is right because I almost never do much to my hair anymore because it takes too long. I don’t even put braids or twists in because I can never seem to sit through it. I have heard that tapered natural hair is harder to handle because it requires a lot more maintenance but aside from keeping the back and sides tapered I really don’t see how hard it could be. Once I see the shape it is cut into it will be a little easier for me to maintain myself as far as cutting it goes but I don’t want to bight off more than I can chew. Below are some of the tapered styles I have had my eye on and I am no stranger to tapered hair. When I was relaxed I had a pixie cut that I would not mind getting again; void of a relaxer of course. I’ll show you that too.

So these styles are really cute to me and I am are a lot similar in style. I like that the sides are shaved really low and I they look quite feminine. As far as my face shape I think I would fit most if not all of these styles because most of these ladies’ face shape is similar to mine. I told you I would show you what my relaxed hair used to look like and you can find that pictured below. In short, I am starting to feel a little defeated by my hair and it is definitely time for a change. I will say that my hair is not as healthy as it could be and that is something I need to work on amongst other things. But essentially this natural hair blues has got to go!

So tell me what do you all think, to cut or not to cut? How do you ladies out their deal with your natural hair blues?


As always thanks for reading and grace and peace to you all. =)

Where I’ve been

Hello all! I feel like it’s been forever since I’ve

written a blog post. I also have some promises to fulfill and I will get to them. I’ve kind of been on hiatus because, as you all know, life happens. Since I’ve been gone I have gone through some struggles and have had some experiences that I would like to share with you all.

If you’ve read my last blog post you know I was trying to start on a  more healthy lifestyle and so I began looking at my habits and noticed that I was eating out a lot again, I was eating more than I should, and I wasn’t working out enough. I started looking for all types of ways that would help me to stay focused on losing weight and such and I found a fitness group on Facebook that was started by Ezekiel of P4CM (Passion 4 Christ Movement) and I thought it would be a great way to be held accountable during this journey.  Well it started out great at first but things slowly started to shift. Some people were really serious about being physically healthy and they helped others to be more health conscious but that was the problem. I joined thinking it was going to be less focused on how we look and more about how we as Christians should view our health.  I was mistaken. Soon, I started to see pictures of people flexing and comparing themselves to others and coveting basically. Some would think I may be being to “legalistic” but I thought some people were being vain and shallow.  Don’t get me wrong I thought it was great having support during the process but I was hoping it was going to be a little different. On top of it all I had to look at the fact that I was starting to focus more on social media and I definitely had to cut that off for a while.

Since then I have lost about 10 lbs but I don’t want to focus so much on weight loss.  I’d rather be more focused on my overall health and that includes my spiritual health. I have drifted so far from God these past few months and I know its because I have had plenty of distractions. I startedto draw away and lose trust in Him and so I began to reevaluate my life. As a Christian all my faith should rest in the Cross but lately I’ve questioned my faith. I want every Christian to know that when or if you go through a period in your walk with Christ when you begin to doubt please don’t feel like its all over for you. I had to realize that.  I discovered that fasting is essential to our walk and I find my self doing it not just ftom food but also from everything else that causes me to lose focus on God.  Fasting and prayer and reading definitely helps you to regain trust and remain assured. Also letting go helps a lot too. Don’t hold on to things because it will only cause you to feel like you have control and you really dont and this causes you to have less trust in the Lord because things aren’t going your way.  For me it was not feeling stable financially and not being able to find work. It tore me apart but God reassures me every day that this isn’t something that I should focus on and that he will always work everything out for my good (Rom 8:28).

I still have struggles and I due fall into doubt sometimes but I don’t stay there. Now I pick my head up and look to the heavens and remember God is in control.  When it comes to my health I’m also not in control but I can practice healthy living not for myself but for the kingdom.  Food is not my master, God is and I refuse to be lazy or gluttonous. Two sins that lead to obesity. So through all that I’ve been through I know now that I want to be all trusting in God no matter what and I want to let go more and Give everything to God and remember that He is in control. I want for my spiritual health to be of the most importance and for the Gospel to reign over all and be at the center of everything I do.

Thank you to everyone who follows my blog, I really appreciate it and I hope that no matter what you all are going through you remember the Cross and that it is there ftom which grace and mercy abounds. God is with you all and He is in control so please let go.

Grace and peace to you.